So here's a hypothesis:
Every choice we make is based on what will bring us the decision makers more joy (or less pain).
What I mean is this: Selfishness and selflessness don't revolve around yourself at all, but rather what you do for other people. People who are selfish and people who are selfless both are acting and making decisions based on what they think will bring themselves the most joy. The difference lies in whether that joy includes other people or not. Maybe we should talk about people being otherish and otherless.
Here's where all this came from.
Clearly, selfish (otherless) acts can be seen as bringing the selfish person joy, but what about unselfish acts?
First, let's look at coercion/doing good things with a crap attitude. (i.e. We do something because someone else wants us to do it.) For example, I go see a chick flick because my wife wants me to go with her. But really I decide to go because I'd rather endure the film than have an argument, or maybe because next time I get to choose. Or I tithe, but only because I'm supposed to. So I'm doing a good thing, but I chose to do it because I'd rather lose the money than lose the eternal rewards. Or I serve someone, but I do it because I'd rather have people think highly of me than have my time back.
Second, we give/serve, and we do it with a great attitude. But the real reason why we chose to do it is because we enjoy giving/serving others than keeping our money/time/sweat to ourselves.
Challenge: try to come up with a scenario in which a person can possibly make a choice that will not bring more joy/less pain to the decision maker, without disregarding the emotional effects of the choice.
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Ah the old "there's no such thing as true altruism" discussion. Altruism being exactly what you are describing, doing something for absolutely no reward in return. But even serving in a soup dirty soup kitchen to rude homeless people for no pay give those who do it a feeling of self worth and accomplishment, so there is a reward (not really tangible, but still a reward).
I do remember one instance though, when as I was traveling through Mississippi, filling up on gas, a homeless man approached me and asked me if I could help him out. I hate it when this happens, and usually I tell them I don't have any money or something. But what was different about this guy was he didn't ask for money, he asked for food. That doesn't happen very often. So I told him I'd be glad to take him inside and buy him (and his aledged wife and sick daughter) a meal, thinking he would refuse and say something like "I don't wanna trouble you, I'll just take a dollar or two and go and buy some food at..." but he immediately brightened up and was like "yes! That would be great!" So I took him in, bought him some sandwiches and drinks, told him take care, I'll pray for him and his daughter, etc.
Now afterward, I felt no sense of accomplishment or higher purpose, or anything, I just felt like dirt. I only did it because I know I'm called to be generous and that's what I should be. I can't think of any other sort of reward I will recieve. Will Heaven somehow be "better" because I bought a guy a sandwich? As far as I understand it, Heaven is Heaven and it doesn't get any better than that.
Maybe this might be an example of true altruism/selflessness/otherness? [shruggs?]
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